Distractions
by Radioactive Ferret
Summary: Renji was finding it hard to concentrate. Not because it was Monday and he was hungover, but because a certain blond under his desk had a VERY talented tongue... RenjiXIzuru, smut, Hooray for the kink meme!


Hi guys~! I bring you more smut from the Bleach Kink Meme! I kinda realized that I promised to fill out every prompt involving Kira, so I figured I'd best get a move on~! More to come after this, but enjoy, lovelies!

Also, the kink meme is located at http : / kinky - bleach . livejournal . com / Just remove the spaces! We need more requesters and writers! Or maybe just some lurkers. And if you make an interesting request involving Izuru, chances are, I may fill it for ya~! Yes, my pretties, I'm bribing you with porn. Kekekeke!

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Renji always despised Monday mornings, especially when Monday followed a long Sunday night of drinking at the Eleventh Division with Ikkaku and Matsumoto. He knew better than to ask his captain for the day off. The last time he'd tried to request time to sleep off a hangover, he found himself training the new recruits in the hot sun until he puked.

With a groan at the amount of paperwork on his desk, he kicked his chair out a bit and sat down with an extremely sour expression on his face. "Stupid paperwork," he grumbled bitterly. "S'not fair."

"I don't know what you're complaining about, Abarai-kun." said a voice from beside the window, causing Renji to jump and sharply bang his knee on the underside of his desk.

"Shit!" he swore loudly. "Damnit, Kira, don't sneak up on me like that!"

"I didn't sneak up on you. I've been here for the better part of ten minutes."

"You have? Why didn't you say something?" Izuru shrugged, and Renji rolled his eyes. "Any particular reason you're here, then?"

Izuru held up a stack of papers and grimaced. "Kuchiki-taicho asked me to bring these forms by this morning, but he's late, and I'm sure he'll be angry if I just left them on his desk. Not like I have work of my _own_ to do or anything," he ended sarcastically.

Renji let out a short bark of laughter. "Y'know, if I was you, Kira, I'd be happy that taicho was late!"

"Really? And why's that?"

"Because it means a free break!"

Izuru rolled his eyes. "All you _**do **_is take breaks," he replied. "You barely do any work in the first place."

"Hey! That's not fair!" Renji argued. "I work! There's just a lot of distractions around here!"

Izuru glanced around the empty room and smirked slightly. "I see what you mean," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Well, _**you're **_here! That's a definite distraction!"

"Gods, you're just full of excuses this morning, aren't you, Abarai-kun?" Renji glared as Izuru snickered. Normally, the red-head would've realized that his friend's taunts were nothing but good-natured teasing, but early mornings following late-night drinking parties had a tendency to dull his brain, for lack of a more cordial phrase.

"Alright, fine!" he snapped. "Ya wanna be like that, Kira? I'll bet you a month's worth of disciplinary notices that I can ignore all the distractions in this dumpy office today!"

Izuru sighed. "You only get this competitive after you've been drinking with Madarame," he observed.

"Yeah, so? We got a deal, then?"

Normally, Izuru knew better than to bet with Abarai Renji. The man had the devil's own luck on his side ninety percent of the time, and blatantly and unabashedly cheated the other ten percent. If he took the bet, he'd really have no way to be sure if Renji really had been focusing the whole day. Kuchiki-taicho wouldn't get involved in something as petty as a bet between two vice-captains, and Rikichi would probably say whatever Renji told him to say.

Then a rather perverse idea sparked in Izuru's mind. "Alright, deal," he said. "But the bet starts right now."

"Fine by me!" Renji snapped. "Now why don't ya shut up for a bit so I can get some of this...what are you doing?" He broke off with a stutter as he realized that not only had Izuru managed to cross the room without him noticing, but was now on his knees in front of him with his hands on Renji's leg.

"I'm fixing your knee so you can't use it as an excuse," Izuru replied. "I know you play dirty, Abarai-kun, and I'm not doing a month's worth of your paperwork because of a technicality."

Renji glared. "I don't play dirty!"

"Of course you don't."

"Yeah, you can quit with the sarcasm whenever you feel like it," Renji grumbled. "And you should probably hurry up. This looks kinda questionable, y'know."

"Questionable?" Izuru repeated in what he hoped was an innocent-sounding voice. "How could me healing your knee _**possibly**_ be considered 'questionable'?"

Renji rolled his eyes. "If you'd said that without running your hand down my thigh, I might've believed you. Now hurry up. Taicho's coming."

"I know," he replied, seeming to be moving deliberately slow.

"Well, if you know, then get up before he thinks you're sucking me off under the desk or something!" He met the mischievous look in Izuru's eyes, and almost immediately felt the blood rush south. "Oh gods, you're not gonna…!"

"You're not the only one who plays dirty," he mumbled, hands sliding into the front of Renji's hakama and groping at the already rock-hard flesh. "And like I said, I have no intention of doing _**your **_paperwork on top of the endless pile I already have to get done."

Renji suddenly stiffened, and Izuru had a good idea why. If the familiar reiatsu wasn't enough of a giveaway, then the footsteps and a muffled 'Good morning, Kuchiki-taicho!' from outside the door would've done the trick.

"Get down!" Renji hissed, and quickly shoved Izuru under his desk as he simultaneously tried to adjust his clothes. Izuru heard the door open and close, and felt Renji shift uncomfortably. "'Morning, taicho," he said in a would-be casual voice, breath only hitching slightly as Izuru began undoing his hakama once again.

"I assume you had a long night of drinking, Abarai," Byakuya replied coolly.

"Wh… what makes you say that, taicho?" he said nervously.

Byakuya fixed him with a rather pointed stare. "I can tell. Was Kira-fukutaicho here earlier?"

Speak of the devil, Renji thought, as the aforementioned fukutaicho's tongue began lapping at the tip of his swollen cock. "Y-yeah, he was. Ah, right there…" Byakuya arched an eyebrow, and blood rushed to Renji's cheeks as he realized he'd said the second part aloud. "H-he was, uh, right there… by your desk earlier. Said something about some f-forms you wanted…"

He broke off with a barely-concealed gasp as Kira's tongue began rubbing on the sensitive spot right below the head. The blond grinned at the hitch in Renji's breath and started suckling on the tip, occasionally reaching up to pinch at the sensitive skin of the redhead's inner thighs.

"-would be advisable for you to spend less time around Madarame and the rest of Zaraki's drunken squad of monkeys," Byakuya was saying, clearly taking Renji's hiss and groan as the unpleasant result of a hangover. "I have half a mind to put you on scrubbing detail for the rest of the afternoon."

Renji ground his teeth as his eyes widened. He would have a lot of explaining to do if his captain expected him to start scrubbing floors _**now**_. But that thought was once again shoved to the back of his mind as Izuru's fingers started ghosting along his sac, followed closely by that evil tongue.

"St-stop teasing…." he groaned.

"I assure you, I am not 'teasing' you," Byakuya replied. "If the idea of washing floors until you vomit does not appeal to you, I would suggest that you cease your pathetic whimpering and start on your work."

"Yes, taicho," Renji gasped, quickly reaching for the first piece of paper he could reach. Kira was impressed. From the sounds of it, Renji was still somehow managing to concentrate on work. The quality of the work had yet to be determined, but he didn't have very high expectations. He was just starting to formulate another plan when he felt two more traces of familiar reiatsu headed in the direction of Kuchiki-taicho's office. And Renji, bless his lust-addled brain, hadn't even noticed.

There was a knock on the door, and Renji damn near jumped out of his skin. Not because the noise startled him… or at least, not entirely. It was because right as the door opened, Kira chose that moment to take as much of his cock as he could into his throat, and it was all Renji could do to keep from letting out a loud and obvious moan for the whole room to hear.

Rukia grinned at Renji as she entered the room with Ukitake, then arched an eyebrow at his disheveled state. "You shouldn't drink so much, Renji," she whispered as Ukitake and Byakuya began discussing something Renji really couldn't bring himself to give two shits about. Something about Kenpachi. "Late night?"

"N-not quite," he said as steadily as he could with the warm, wet suction of Kira's mouth pulling him closer and closer to the edge of reason.

Rukia frowned. "Are you getting sick?" she asked, plopping a hand on his forehead. "Holy…! You're burning up, Renji!"

This exclamation had got the attention of the other two captains. "You aren't overworking Abarai-fukutaicho, are you?" Ukitake said with a slight smile.

"That would be implying the useless lump even knew the meaning of 'work' in the first place, Ukitake," Byakuya said with a glare in Renji's direction. "I am ashamed to say that my fukutaicho seems to have attempted drowning himself in a barrel of sake, or something to such an extent."

Ukitake laughed. "Well, you're only young once. Maybe you could show some mercy for the poor kid, huh? Let him sleep it off?"

Renji grit his teeth furiously. "I'm f-fine, Ukitake-taicho…" he managed, willing the attention to be turned away from him as Kira started squeezing the base of his cock as he sucked harder.

"Well, he's dedicated, I'll give him that!" Ukitake said. "So, Kuchiki-taicho, what do you say? I'm sure we could get him to listen if it was both of us, and since I can't get Kyouraku-taicho to wake up, perhaps…?"

"Yes, yes of course," Byakuya said with mild irritability, then cast a sidelong glance at Renji. "If you are going to vomit, I would prefer if you did it at your own residence. Understand that this is the only time I will be lenient with you."

"Y-yesss… Taicho," Renji whimpered, heart racing as he felt the tight heat pooled in his groin begin to uncoil. It took all his self control not to lose himself in that hot, hungry mouth. "Thank you…"

With that, Byakuya swept out of the room, followed by Ukitake and a confused-looking Rukia. The door had barely closed when a sudden pinch to his sac sent the world kaleidoscoping out of focus as he thrust deep into Kira's mouth and came with an animalistic howl. Once the waves of pleasure had subsided, he became aware of a light gagging noise, and realized his hand was wound tightly in Izuru's hair, holding the smaller man flush against his softening cock.

"Oh, sorry Kira," he said breathlessly as he detached his hand. Izuru coughed and spat out a good mouthful of come onto the floor as he crawled out from the cramped space under the desk. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," he replied, wiping his mouth with his hand. "What's more, I think I just won our bet."

"What!" Renji snapped. "How?"

"Because unless I'm mistaken, Kuchiki-taicho just gave you the day off to sleep your 'hangover' off."

Renji glared half-heartedly. "That was a cheap trick, and you fukken know it. If you hadn't just given me the best freaking blowjob I've ever had in my life, I would probably kick your ass for it." Izuru blushed deeply, and Renji grinned. "Say, where'd ya learn to do that, Kira?"

"Let's just say that there's a reason I avoid drinking at the Eleventh Division and leave it at that," he said, blushing an even brighter shade of pink.

Renji snickered. "Well, like you said, taicho gave me the day off."

"And?"

Renji's grin turned wolfish as he grasped Izuru's half-hard cock through his hakama. "Why don't you show me some of the other talents you've been hiding, hm?"


End file.
